A FUNERAL CEREMONY IN “GODDESS TRADITION” FOR LYN
By Glenys Livingstone
Published in: Women-Church: An Australian Journal of Feminist Studies in Religion. Issue #39, Spring 2006.
Lyn Ward was our sister-friend, close-in member of our seasonal ritual circle. She had drummed at our rituals, spoken her truths, and heard our stories too. She died on the full Moon before Autumn Equinox, the Seasonal Moment at which we had for years celebrated and contemplated – with Lyn – the Grief and Power of Loss. Lyn’s sense of cosmic timing was perfect – she was an artist to the end. And Lyn had often brought her young daughter Ella, who was now fourteen, to the rituals. Lyn had been a single mother for years, and was a very active presence in the Steiner School that Ella went to. Lyn also drummed and sang in community groups. When Lyn was diagnosed with cancer, the community including dancers, drummers and cultural artists came together for a well-attended fundraiser for her.
Lyn had kept coming to the seasonal rituals up until Summer Solstice 2005 – this being her last one with us. Summer Solstice is the ritual of celebrating the turn of the annual cycle into the Dark, where we each throw a full blossom onto the fire, signifying our giving of our fullness of Being to existence – to the Universe. Then a wreath of full blossoms is upheld for each of us to gaze through to the fire, and we are encouraged to “see with clear sight”, and to “know the Mystery of the unbroken circle1”. Lyn was unable to join us for the next seasonal ritual of Early Autumn – Lammas. She had already begun her descent. As Autumn Equinox approached, Lyn’s descent became more rapid, yet she remained clear enough to write instructions for us all about her funeral arrangements and other matters. She had hoped to take leave from the hospital to attend her daughter Ella’s launch of a CD2 of 4 songs, but was only able to be present via mobile phone. It turned out to be the day before Lyn left us. Ella, very courageously, sang three of the songs for us and for her mother.
The funeral that Lyn wanted was the reading of a long list of “thank-yous” to people who had been part of her life … really it was her own eulogy. She asked that her father then read the 23rd Psalm. And finally she asked that three women from of her circle – Debbie, Loret and Glenys – “do something in the Goddess tradition”. This is what we did for her:
Persephone and Demeter Story3 FOR LYN 17th March 2006.
GLENYS: This is a story that Lyn was familiar with and loved at this time of year – the Autumn Equinox – which her seasonal circle will celebrate on Sunday. The words that Demeter says to Persephone in the story are words that Lyn received each Autumn Equinox in the ritual celebration. We say it for her again.
This is the time of the Autumnal Equinox – the moment of balance of light and dark in the dark part of the cycle. Feel the balance in this moment – Earth as She is poised in relationship with the Sun. Feel for your own balance of light and dark within. In our part of Earth, the balance is about to tip into the dark. Feel the shift within you, see in your mind’s eye the descent ahead, the darkness growing, remember the coolness of it. This is the time when we give thanks for our harvests – the abundance we have reaped. Yet we remember too the losses. The story of Old tells us that Persephone, Beloved Daughter, is given the wheat – the Mystery, knowledge of life and death – for this she gives thanks. But she sets forth into the darkness – both Mother and Daughter grieve that it is so.
DEBBIE:
Persephone gathered three poppies and Her Mother Demeter led Her to a long, deep chasm and produced a torch for her to carry. Demeter said to Her:
I give you the wheat – the Mystery – the knowledge of life and death. I let you go as Daughter – Child, most loved of Mine … you descend to Sovereignty, to Wisdom, you have become Queen. You will return as Mother, co-Creator with me. You are the Seed in the Fruit, becoming the Fruit in the Seed. Inner Wisdom guides your path.
(PAUSE – Loret put wheat on the coffin)
Demeter stood and watched Her Daughter go down further and further into the cleft of the Earth. … For months Persephone received and renewed the dead without ever resting or growing weary. All the while Her Mother remained disconsolate. … In Her sorrow She withdrew Her power from the crops, the trees, the plants. She forbade any new growth to blanket the Earth. The mortals planted their seed, but the fields remained barren. Demeter was consumed with loneliness and finally settled on a bare hillside to gaze out at nothing from sunken eyes. For days and nights, weeks and months She sat waiting.
LORET:
In the crook of Her arm Persephone held Her Mother’s wheat close to Her breast, while Her other arm held the torch aloft. She was startled by the chill as She descended, but She was not afraid. Deeper and deeper into the darkness She continued, picking her way along the rocky path. For many hours She was surrounded only by silence. Gradually She became aware of a low moaning sound. It grew in intensity until She rounded a corner and entered an enormous cavern, where thousands of the dead milled about aimlessly, hugging themselves, shaking their heads, and moaning in despair. Persephone moved through the forms to a large, flat rock and ascended. She produced a stand for her torch, a vase for Her Mother’s grain, and a large shallow bowl piled with pomegranate seeds, the food of the dead. As She stood before them, Her aura increased in brightness and in warmth.
I am Persephone and I have come to be your Queen. Each of you has left the body you knew, and resides in the realm of the manifesting – the realm of the dead. If you come to Me, I will initiate you into your new world.
She beckoned those nearest to step up onto the rock close to Her. As each one came before Her Persephone embraced them and then stepped back and gazed into the eyes. She reached for a few pomegranate seeds, squeezing them between Her fingers. She painted the forehead with a broad swatch of the red juice and slowly pronounced:
You have waxed into the fullness of life,
And waned into darkness; May you be renewed in tranquility and wisdom.
(PAUSE – Glenys take off red ribbon)
Lyn, for those close to you, before you left this form, you became Queen – Sovereign. We give you the purple of Sovereignty and Wisdom – She who shines in the Dark
(PAUSE – Debbie put purple fabric on coffin)
the red Thread representing the continuity of life4 – that continues beneath what we see, and we are aware of it in our Hearts
(PAUSE – Glenys put red ribbon on coffin)
It is the Balance of Grief and Joy we feel. If we listen to this Balance, and act, all will be well.
***
At our Autumn Equinox ritual two days later, we left a space for Lyn in the circle, decorated with the wheat, the purple fabric, and the red ribbon.
Almost exactly two lunar months later, about fifteen friends and family gathered again in the late afternoon to scatter Lyn’s ashes from a high cliff in the Blue Mountains. It was a few days after Deep Autumn ritual – Samhain as it is known, the annual Seasonal Moment that marks the Transformation of Death, when the old Year is recognised as passed. We had tea and cake first, as this was something Lyn always liked to do. Some of us held the shoebox size container of her ashes while we sipped tea, noticing in awe, the weight of them. When the time came, we went to the fenced cliff edge, put a piece of Lyn’s artwork on the fence in front of us and stood in a semi-circle. Debbie read:
May the air carry your spirit gently.
May the fire release your soul.
May the water cleanse you
May the earth receive you.
May the wheel turn again and bring you rebirth5.
Glenys spoke these words – words that had been traditional to this Samhain Season of New Year, and Lyn had liked them particularly:
I said to the One that stood at the Gate of the Year: ‘Give me a light that I may tread safely into the unknown.’ And the Angel said to me: ‘Go out into the darkness and put your hand in the hand of the One. That will be better to you than a light and safer than the known way6.’
The box of Lyn’s ashes were passed around the semi-circle for each to hold one last time. The box was opened, and the ashes immediately began to waft into the air. We each took turns as we wished, to scatter them.
Notes
1 Starhawk, The Spiral Dance. NY: Harper and Row, 1989, p. 190.
2 Ella Ward, Here For You: Songs About Lyn, engineered by Andy Busuttil, March 2006.
3 With acknowledgement of Charlene Spretnak, Lost Goddesses of Early Greece. Boston: Beacon Press, 1992 p. 114-116, with some changes to her text, re-composed by Glenys Livingstone, Debbie Dunn, and Loret Runagall.
4 For reference to the significance of the “red thread”, see MABON teaching in Appendix F of PaGaian Cosmology and also do a book search on this site for “thread of life”.
5 Starhawk, The Pagan Book of Living and Dying. NY: HarperCollins, 1997, p.148.
6 I don’t know the reference for these words.
